Monday, August 8, 2011

Never More



Things are never simple. Or easy.  I guess that's what makes them worthwhile but honestly at the moment I would settle for dull if it came wrapped in simple. At times my brain spins so fast the world seems to unravel in  front of me. I reach out and try to catch it but it just slips through my fingers. So fast. So elusive. Almost there but not quite. Today I am feeling very hurt and  disappointed and tired. Mostly just tired though..Tired of the bullshit..Tired of the childishness.

Maybe fed up is a better word.Yes. Fed up.

I've had my share and I am done. I don't want anymore thank you. Can I please be excused?

I am starting to lose my will to fight. And that scares me. I don't want to be stuck in content and settlement. That this is all there is. All there ever will be. Nothing more. Just what is. I try  to imagine a world of tomorrows but instead all I can find are nevermore's in a land of forgottenness I no longer can roam. I am stumbling.I don't want to fall again.

I am more than the names you call me. I won't allow another's words to define me ever again. Never again will I see myself through the looking glass. Never more. Never again.

I am more.