And Yet....

.... snarky comments are nothing. Someone who doesn't like me is nothing. My professional image or perceived lack thereof is not important. A web site design is not important. The questions I ask and the decisions I make regarding my business are of no consequence.

Not in light of a tragedy that reminds me what really IS important in life. Someone I love dearly just lost one of the most important people in her life. Her mother died very suddently. This young woman, who has just become a mother herself, is standing at the gates of a desolate looking world right now. I cannot imagine her pain, though I have lost enough people I have loved in my lifetime to have empathy for her. I wish with all my heart I could fly to Texas right now and embrace our sweet girl, surrounding her with love. I can't, and it hurts.

When those moments come upon us - the ones that move us to rapturous joy or knock us to our knees in grief - life is never in sharper focus. We see with a renewed perspective, a clearer eye, a stunned but focused mind. The news of this tragedy hitting my family just one hour ago has made me feel ridiculous for ever reacting to the negative comment in that past post as if it were actually important. It's not. None of this is.

People and relationships are important. Please, go thank someone, go hug someone. Call your mother and tell her you love her, even if you can't agree on anything at all in life. Because life is short, and life is real, and life is not forever.

Hey, 'Anonymous'......

I did put myself out there.
I did ask for feedback, yes I did.
I asked a few questions and requested that my readers share their thoughts with me.

I forgot two things:
To say 'Play NICE, children'
To turn off the anonymous button.

So, I got two snarky comments from 'Anonymous'. Following some really good counsel, I've now removed them from this post; you can go to the original post to read one of them.

There are some things in the comment that I do know already, some that are new to consider. There are some answers to my questions, though a bit of it is based on incomplete information gained from a few web searches. But then, if that's what the perception is, I need to get busy. That I do know, or I wouldn't be asking, right?

It's just that overriding tone in some veiled (and not-so-veiled) comments there that just makes me stand up right here, right now, and say 'Hey, Anonymous - let's take this outside'. Because I put myself out there every damn day that I write on this blog or for a magazine or speak onstage at a show or work for hours to prepare for any one of those. I asked for my regular readers and friends to help me out for once - like I help them out all the time. I trust them and their opinions on these subjects because they get it. And someone hides behind 'Anonymous' and throws prettily-wrapped rocks at me. WONderful.

Now it's your turn:

DEAR Anonymous commenter, you made some good points and I actually do appreciate you taking time to comment. However, despite your protestations, it was harsh, and I wish I believed that you didn't mean it negatively. Perhaps if you had signed in and let your own identity be known, I may have felt differently.

I will take the opportunity to counter your 'identity crisis' comment with this: Part of what you found online (thanks for taking all that time to search out various sites and I don't mySpace or Twitter, BTW) is my personal information, which is all under my name - Deb Kennedy - including my Facebook Profile and a personal blog (which is not linked to this blog for exactly that reason). Nothing I am ashamed of, just personal instead of business. I use 'Deb Kennedy' and a personal photo there because I am consciously making a separation between the personal and the business sites. And I do have the right to have a personal identity that is separate from my professional one, even online.

Have you even read my professional profile on LinkedIN or this blog profile page or my Facebook Page? I use Debi Ward Kennedy as my professional name, when I speak, write, and consult. I was dubbed 'DivaDeb' by other people because of my byline of 'The Decorating & Display Diva', and so I use both. I am often introduced as "Debi Ward Kennedy, the Decorating & Display Diva...welcome, DivaDeb!" (It doesn't seem to be as confusing for them as it is for you.) I am a decorator, I am a display designer. This tagline helps to clarify that. Plus, I LIKE it. It's energetic and fun and animated and lively, like me and my stage 'persona', DivaDeb. It's dynamic and effective, like my work. It differentiates me from others, and believe me that is EXACTLY what I want. I am not like any other person doing what I do, nor do I want to be. And btw, my logo character is NOT a 'bubblehead Diva'. (Now how is that NOT supposed to be harsh?)

As for your comment about self-absorption, the original definition of 'Diva' is someone who excells at their craft, like an opera singer. It is not used as contemporary slang in this context, though apparently you want to see it that way. Tina Turner is a Diva. Barbra Streisand is a Diva. It's not always a bad thing. I am damned good at what I do, too.

'Anonymous', I don't know what your beef with me is, but I've had some similar comments here on this blog before...from 'Anonymous', amazingly enough, and it just makes me wonder: Why don't you ever sign your name? What don't you want us to know? All of the good insight you offered in your comment was rendered ineffective by the catiness of half a dozen sentences. When you come back, and I know you will, you'll find the 'Anonymous' comment option disabled. You'll have to come out into the open to throw those rocks. Have a nice day.

In any case, whether comments are positive or negative in intent, it's all food for thought - and I really appreciate that everyone thinks I am of enough value to offer their views, thoughts, and opinions on my blog. It means a lot to me as I make some crucial decisions that actually reach much farther than a website design. Heidi, Cindy, Debi, you have offered ideas and insight that I appreciate, and you have done so kindly and professionally. Thank you so much!

(And ah, Bacchus, I'm still waiting to hear your opinion!)

PS: this post was the POLITE version of my response, BTW. I could really have had a Diva Moment. ;0)

I Went to a Garden Party...

I just love meeting new people, new entrepreneurs with positive energy and a great outlook who are starting a business because they KNOW they can help other people lead better lives. These are the people who will succeed!

A lovely gal found me recently through the Faded Elegance blog & store. She asked Kimberly at Faded who had designed the store blog, and she was directed to me. We met a week ago and instantly hit it off - and found we have a great many things in common. Our name, for one - she's Debi, too! She's also spent years in the visual merchandising field, designed event decor, as well as home redesign & holiday decorating services. And she loves antiques! Amazing.

In any case, Debi is a wonderfully creative florist and event designer who has started a new business - 'Garden Party' - and she needed a blog and some marketing materials. So, I went to work, creating a custom graphics package - from blog background & banner to coordinating brochure & biz card - for her brand-new business.

It's been a fast project with a quick turnaround, and we met today to click that button and make her blog 'public'. Such excitement! She's busily spreading the word about her new blog to friends, family, business contacts, and bloggers that her blog now links to, and I thought I'd do my part to introduce her to the Bloggiverse by letting you know about her.

One look at her photos here should make you want to run over to her blog and see what else she's done and can do for you! From weddings to events, parties to home redesign, color consults to holiday decor.... she does it all with a FABulous sense of style and her own charming personality. Go on over and Welcome Debi, won't you?!

All photos, logos, advertising & marketing materials shown above are copyright 2009 Debi Bock & Garden Party, designed by DWK all rights reserved. Use prohibited.

Last of Zambia

While in Zambia I decided to travel further north to Malawi as it was not that far from where I stayed on the Lower Zambezi. From the Lower Zambezi near Siavonga to Chipata on the border with Malawi would take me 12 hours. Hein organized me a lift with a lady he knew from the Kapenta Fishing Industry to Lusaka from where I boarded an afternoon bus to Chipata. Arriving in Chipata after dark would be the first of many. I camped the night and left for Lake Malawi the next morning.

More Wildlife - Zambia

I did not go on this trip to see wildlife, but somehow they seemed to be everywhere.
The Zambezi river is the lifeline for all these animals and you have to respect that they belong here.


This Kingfisher would sit in the tree next to my tent every morning when I woke up and the presence of Hippos are also everywhere on the Zambezi River.

Mukuyu Outreach - Lower Zambezi

I worked as a fundraiser in Dublin Ireland in December 2005. I was a representative for a NGO called World Vision. We would work on the streets of the city asking people to sponsor a child in Africa.

While working on the streets I met Hein Myburgh. He was only in Dublin for the day and was in a big rush. We had a quick chat about his charity on the Lower Zambezi called Mukuyu Outreach. He handed me a business card and said that if I ever wanted to visit him I would be welcome.

I kept the business card for 3 years before giving him a call. I always had the idea of traveling into Africa with public transport and Mukuyu Outreach would be the perfect place to visit and go help.

Hein invited me to come and help him with construction work for an orphanage. I assisted him with building the roof of the orphanage and also helped with some of the work at his house on the Zambezi River.

I had an amazing time at Mukuyu Outreach and after 12 days it was time to head further north towards Malawi. Mukuyu would be my only pre arranged visit and while spending time here I thought that I should head further north as I had the time and money.

For more information on Mukuyu Outreach visit: www.mukuyu.com

Business - DIVAstyle!

Divas Doing Business: What the Guidebooks Don't Tell You About Being a Woman Entrepreneur
by Monique Hayward

Released Feb 19, 2008

I just ran across this book tonight, while investigating the many entrepreneur groups on Facebook. Since so many businesses are facing uncommon obstacles right now, this one sounds like a common-sense approach to dealing with challenges. I thought you would find it a valuable resource...and I am not being paid to endorse it.

About the Book (according to Amazon!):
Her husband wants sex, the bank has denied her small business loan, creditors are after her house, her kid's big school play is tonight, and her top employee just resigned. One more straw and the camel's back surely will break. Welcome to Divas Doing Business: What the Guidebooks Don't Tell You About Being a Woman Entrepreneur, arming women business owners with the tools and firepower to tackle the unique situations that will test their resolve, strength, and spirit as they start and manage their businesses.

About the Author:

"Monique Hayward, whose corporate experience includes a wide range of marketing, business development, public relations, and communications positions at Intel Corporation and Tektronix, Inc., has shared her expertise through mainstream media outlets such as the Denver Post and CNN. Monique is now releasing her first book, "Divas Doing Business: What the Guidebooks Don't Tell You About Being a Woman Entrepreneur".

Monique has spoken of the difficulties of shopping a book proposal in today's economy - given the recession, publishers are quick to shut the door on first-time authors. Monique decided to bring the book to market herself - a truly entrepreneurial response! Monique also owns and operates Dessert Noir Café & Bar in Beaverton, Oregon (www.dessertnoir.com), which she opened in January 2005."

This article originally appears here:
http://newsonwomen.typepad.com/news_on_women/2009/02/monique-hayword-shares-her-expertise-and-her-desserts.html

To purchase this book, go to the author's blog for options:

http://moniquehayward.blogspot.com/

or click on the title to this post, which will direct you to Amazon.com

The author will donate a portion of the book's sales proceeds to PLAN!T NOW, Morgan Freeman's charity that provides information and assistance for victims of natural disasters. Learn more about PLAN!T NOW at www.planitnow.org. Mr. Freeman provides the introduction for Ms. Hayward's book.

Victoria Falls - Zambia

I visited the Victoria Falls in Zambia while on my way to Mukuyu Outreach on the Lower Zambezi. I'd been here twice before with my parents, but this time I had to see it once more and capture some of the views on camera.




I only viewed the falls from the Zambian side and did not cross into Zimbabwe for more shots. I'd been here before and did not feel like crossing into a political unstable country, though I am sure I would have been safe. I wanted to take more photos, but the rain that the falls create made it impossible to take photos all the time.

IMHO

Over the years, I have watched films like these (especially these) and thought to myself "We need a President who acts like this. One with integrity and class. Who stands up for all of us and what is right. Who doesn't let the bullies win."

To quote a line from the last film up there,

"THANK YOU, Mr. President!"

In President Obama's first address to a joint session of Congress, he mentioned small businesses several times (I counted three, but there could be more). I cheered, applauded, and even stood up at one point - as did Congress, repeatedly. As he said, these are not Republican or Democratic issues - they are American issues. To quote that same film again, "We have serious problems and we need serious people to handle them". He's not a savior, and at this point they are still words...but there is action planned to back up those words. And that, in my opinion, is more than anyone else has stepped up to in quite some time.

We, fellow small business owners, are the backbone of industry in this country. We drive the economy. And now we have a President who recognizes our impact on the future of our nation, and has pledged his support to us.

If that alone doesn't make you stand up and cheer, I hope Harrison Ford, Kevin Kline, and Michael Douglas come crashing through your front door in Air Force One and talk some sense into you so you'll get with the program and work together toward solutions.

Note: I'm posting this and leaving comments open to start with. If they get nasty, rude, or disrespectful, I'm deleting them and possibly closing them. It's my blog and it's not a democracy here, it's a Debocracy. I have a right to my opinions and I have this blog to share them. You don't

have to agree...but be civil. If you can't, get your own blog and write whatever you want. Thanks.

Southern Africa Trip - Namibia

In June 2008 after completing my studies I decided to go and explore more of Southern Africa. I boarded a bus in Bellville and headed north to Windhoek in Namibia where I would meet up with a friend Le Roux Van Schalkwyk.

The bus drive up took 23 hours and we had a delay at the border post for 3 hours. The journey did not feel that long as I sat next to British girl called Sam Murray and we chatted all the way till she got dropped in Keetmanshoop.

From Windhoek I got a lift with Le Roux to the Caprivi Strip in North Eastern Namibia. Here I spent a few days on the banks of the Okavango River with Le Roux and his family.

I was heading towards Mukuyu Outreach in Zambia. This would be my only destination that I had pre arranged. From the Caprivi I headed to Victoria Falls and then onto Mukuyu on the Lower Zambezi River.

I did not spend much time in Namibia as I concentrated on reaching Mukuyu.

It's a Barbie World...???

Let's face it, we all love to see how the other half lives. From Robin Leach's 'Champagne Wishes and Caviar Dreams' to MTV 'Cribs', we like to peek into the homes of our fave celebs and see how they spend all that loot we shell out for their films and CD's.

This one, my friends, takes the proverbial cake.

Barbie's digs are getting a makeover. More on that in a minute...first, take a look at the evolution of Barbie's domiciles...

1960's cardboard room to 1970's townhouse tower,

1980's Dream House grows to a 1990's Dream (Mc)Mansion...and then surprisingly shrinks to a tiny apartment in the new millenium. (I've left out the myriad of ski lodges, beach cottages, home-made abodes, and assorted RV's, campers, vans, and the like.)

Apparently, Mattel has decided that it is time for Miss B's home to get a Makeover of the Extreme variety, in order to keep her in line with the spiffy brand image of a still-hot chick who appeals to a wide demographic. (BTW, have you seen the YouTube video of 'Cougar Barbie'? Hilarious...)

So, the toy cpmpany has hired uber-chic designer Jonathan Adler to redesign a house for Barbie.

Love him on Top Designer, love his pottery, love his interior design aesthetic. He's wacky. When his partner Simon Doonan is added to that, it's double-wacky. I like that. I can even see why a toy company would like that...can you just imagine the rooms he's going to dream up for the new Dream Home of the pink-princess, fashion plate, ultimate career woman, and all-around nice girl? Heck, he'll make her eco-friendly and a style trendsetter while he's at it.

Yup, somethin' like that! Check out his sketch here (I couldn't copy the photo):

http://home.aol.com/new_in_home/photogallerytall/_a/barbies-dream-house-through-the-years/20090217175109990001

But here's the rub, folks: He's also releasing a line of merchandise that will mimic the Barbie house. Rugs, lamps, furnishings, accessories, et al. For YOUR house. And I know, it's retail, which has to keep coming up with new things to entice us to buy. And pop culture sells. But come ON.... do we really need our homes to be decorated Barbie-style? Unless we are ten, I don't think so. But he did it: http://home.aol.com/new_in_home/photogallerytall/_a/barbies-real-life-malibu-dream-house/20090217175109990001

(Deb is shaking her head here...) cue the music: http://www.imeem.com/macfrancis/music/H-l7TJgV/aqua_barbie_girl/

Sunset cruise to celebrate 200000km

The Benz that my Brother and I share recently hit the 200000km mark. Still fit and ready for the road this 1984 model needs to remain strong as it will be around for a few more years to come.

A Weekend outside the City

Situated just over 2 hours outside Cape Town you’ll find vast open landscapes and the start of the Great Karoo. I went to the Karoo with my parents and other family members for weekend getaway.

'Expert' Advice

OK, I have to share my thoughts on something here...

I received the email below today. It came from a source that I often receive mailings from, usually upbeat in nature with a 'powertalk' kind of vibe. Not today....today, it got my hackles up. If you'd like to know why, read on...

"The economy continues to dishearten many, but I'm noticing a trend. Have you noticed that the "experts" are weathering the storm a little better? I'm talking about all the people they're putting on television to help us sort through this and make sense of the world and how we can best cope in these trying times. You've probably noticed almost ALL of these people are AUTHORS -- they've written books, so they're considered experts who can appear on the media, charge $10,000-$50,000 per one hour speech, hold their own seminars, be life and business coaches, etc. (He goes on to pump an upcoming event where you, too, can discover his secrets, buy his book, and launch your own media empire.)

Remember: Bad economies are GOOD for experts. The fact is people need and trust experts more in dark times than good times. They need advice and coaching. They need hope. They need someone to point the way. They need YOU. Learn how to get your book published and get your story out to the world. Join me at this event. This is the best time ever to be an expert, so I hope to see you there. More info below."

My first thought was 'oh, give me a break'. And the second thought to blaze a trail through my brain was 'Hmmnn, this 'expert' thing... I need to talk about this on my blog.

And that brings me to you, my dear readers.

You see, I firmly believe that YOU are the experts on your own businesseses.

No one else knows the ins and outs, ups and downs, daily details and future plans of your business. No one else is as devoted to it - or to its success - as you are. Additionally, you are in business for a reason, and your customers look to you to be the expert they are in need of -the expert of scrapbooking, or wine, or antiques and home decor - whatever your specialty is, your customers expect to walk into your store and find expertise there.

So although there are definitely people who can help you build a better business - with, for example, your visual merchandising or your store environment! - they are not more important to your business, your success, and your ability to thrive and prosper in a difficult economic climate than YOU are. Anyone who says so is just sellin' you something.

Yes, I am an expert. A retail expert. A visual expert. A decorating expert. A business expert. I know my stuff and my creativity, knowledge & experience are a great benefit to my clients. But I'm not the be-all and end-all, trust me. Neither is anyone else - even if they claim to be. Even Mr. 'Recession-Proof' who sent me that email. It made me a little mad, to be honest!

As for those experts charging 10 to 50K to speak for an hour.... yeah, well, they need to realize that businesses are cutting budgets for consultants, events, and speakers, and if they truly want to make an impact - instead of just a buck - they need to adjust those fees so that those people who 'need and want them' can afford them. It's not about fleecing people who are experiencing hard times. Without the right attitude, I wonder just how long his business will remain 'recession-proof'?

Off my soapbox....